How to Eliminate Your Teacher
by ivandapie
Summary: One-shot AU Supposedly a FrUK fanfic where the class is desperate to get rid of a crazy reliever teacher. I can't even explain this...


**I kinda feel bad for the innocent teachers at our school that the students take advantage of. It's actually more the relievers that it happens too or the music teacher. I own nothing except Mr Rodgers? I don't even know…. random name on the spot. Anyway I hope you like my terrible one shot ~ ^^**

* * *

It was just another boring day at Hetalia Gakuen. The students were actively engaged in conversation as their teacher had yet to turn up for History. But who were they kidding? They hardly ever listened to that teacher anyway and the teacher didn't even care what they did. He just set his feet on the table and read magazines, surfed the internet or played any games on the portable consoles he bought in and he _still _got paid for it.

"Everyone, please settle down." A man called upon entering, clapping his hands and sitting down. He was dressed in a dark-brown business suit which was different from pretty much how every other teacher in the school dressed. Since he was a relieving teacher, he never expected having a class quite like this one. The other staff merely gave him a _'good luck'_ and pushed him out of the staff room.

The class looked his way in confusion as to why there wasn't the normal teacher that actually _had _style and gave zero fucks as to what they did.

"Now that you've finally quietened down, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Mr Rodgers and I'll be relieving for your_ 'sick'_ teacher. Now, I'm going to call out the roster. I hope there won't be any interruptions."

Everyone snickered. They knew what was about to go down. There's no way that roster would even get started with a class as bad as this.

"I actually feel sorry for him," Kiku murmured to his friend Arthur who sat beside him. "Matthew will definitely be his favourite student after today."

"Yeah probably, if he even notices him." Arthur replied and yawned. He rested his head in his palm and directed his gaze towards the door. It was always around this time that it happened.

"Can't you stay quiet for one minute? I'd really like to get this roster done so we can do something fun and help with your learning." Mr Rodgers called with a distressed tone and combed his fingers through what was left of his hair.

It was time. The door suddenly slammed open and in barged a panicked Gilbert who did a running dive under his desk screeching _**"THE SHE-DEVIL'S GOING TO GET MEEEEEEE!"**_

_**"WHERE IS HE? HE WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE'S DONE. ONE CAN NOT GET AWAY WITH GROPE ALIVE."**_ Elizaveta followed him in growling, wielding a frying pan._**  
**_

"Hey now, just take a seat and sort out your issues _after _class. That goes for _both _of you."

_**"IT'S NOT MY FAULT SHE'S A PSYCHOPATHIC KILLER WIELDING A FRYING PAN. THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL."**_

_**"I'm sure you've done a lot of illegal things Gilbert."**_

**_"That's it. We are going to have arranged seating plans if the class continues to be like this. I didn't come in here to be treated like this. Learn to respect your elders and classmates."_**

The class groaned and glared at Mr Rodgers.

"But this is just a normal everyday occurrence. It's not always Lizzie chasing him but I promise you, he is not a mentally disabled child. He is a fellow member of our society that needs more respect than he's given. So please, join us now with helping the _Keep_ _Gilbert Beilschmidt Out of Trouble_ fund. Donations could save lives." Explained Francis who exchanged grins with Gilbert who was under the desk beside him.

"I honestly don't care if… Flying cows is normal in this classroom. _**NOT WHILE I'M HERE. AND IF YOU'RE SUCH A SMART-ASS, MAYBE YOU AND BEILSCHMIDT NEED A DETENTION."**_ Mr Rodgers glowered, determined to conquer this class.

_"Good luck…"_ Arthur muttered rolling his eyes.

"Another smart-ass are we? Well, I've heard stereotypes that the English hate the French so we're just gonna have to test this out and seat you next to Mr Bonnefoy. That shouldn't be too hard, should it? If anyone else wants to be a smart-ass, you will also be moved." The teacher decided, crossing his arms with an evil grin on his face.

The class muttered unintelligible remarks and some screamed in horror at the thought of Francis and Arthur together again.

Arthur was about to complain until he had a devious idea._ "Fine."_ He dramatically sighed and headed off towards his newly assigned desk. The class stared in amazement. _Is this a new era? Are we going to die?_

When he reached the desk he glanced back at Mr Rodgers with a cocky grin on his face and sat as close as possible to the Frenchman as he could, even clutching onto his arm. _"Just play along"_ He whispered in Francis's ear. "_We're going to make him extremely frustrated."_

"Do you _really _think I'm that stupid? I don't know what you're trying to prove but I'm not buying it. I'm not shifting you back because you're trying to make me believe you're _'best buddies'"_

"_D__'accord. Don't freak_ _out._" Francis whispered to Arthur. And with that said, he shifted Arthur onto his lap. Arthur tried to not look as shocked as he really was. Francis then wrapped his arms around the Englishman's waist and nuzzled his face in his hair. Arthur awkwardly put his arms around his neck and hid his face in the shirt before him.

_"Oh I see._ That's how you're going to play it, huh?" Mr Rodgers challenged, pacing with his arms behind his back. "I know you're only playing some little game kid. There's no way I'm moving you."

_"Oh?_ I sit here all the time anyway._** Right. In. This. Exact. Spot."**_ Arthur taunted.

"I _will_ be speaking to you later young man…" The teacher grumbled. _"Rude little shit..."_

Mr Rodgers ended up seating people next to each other who looked to have bad relationships like Yao and Ivan for example. He wasn't as nice as he tried to make out he was at the beginning. He was practically slave driving the class.

_"Ohoho_. It looks like you're pairing up students. I don't mind most of the pairings... If you want, I can get you pictures. _Wink, wink, nudge, nudge._" Elizaveta suggested to Mr Rodgers. "I already have plenty of Arthur and Francis from over there if you want any. Just saying"

"N-No. I was putting them together based on bad relations-"

_**"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES IT INTERESTING! YOU OBVIOUSLY WANT SOME HOT GUY ACTION! THAT'S WHY YOU CAME TO THIS SCHOOL THAT'S MOSTLY FULL OF GUYS!"**_

_**"I DID NOT AND I WAS NOT PAIRING THEM UP LIKE THAT- LOOK, I PUT THE GIRLS THAT AREN'T A NUISANCE TOGETHER OVER THERE-"**_

_**"YOU LIKE YURI AS WELL? NOT AS GOOD AS YAOI BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT-"**_

_**"LIZZIE CALM YOU'RE TITS!"**_ Gilbert intersected.

_**"WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER PAN TO THE FACE?"**_

Roderich sighed, facepalming. "She needs a moment to calm down. Excuse me…" He excused himself, dragging Lizzie with him.

Mr Rodgers cleared his throat as his cheeks flamed red in embarrassment "Now, I think that's enough interruptions for today. I'm really getting tired of the crap you're giving me. _**WE ARE GOING TO DO SOME WORK TODAY LIKE IT OR NOT!"**_

"Fine…" The class groaned.

"What's this? Are you actually _complying?_ _Happy days!"_ Mr Rodgers sang, leaping into the air. "Now… What class is this? History? How about you research the relations between you and your partner's country. Here are some textbooks." He started skipping around the classroom flying books onto everyone's desks like they were flowers. "I intend to cause as much pain as possible and it's just one book between two~"

"I really think the stress has gotten to his head" Arthur snickered. He was still on Francis's lap but facing the other way. "Either that or he's just an asshole."

_"Oui…_ Are you going to sit on me the whole time? Not that I mind... I mean, this is the calmest you've ever been around me. You're even talking to me calmly."

"The teacher doesn't even care anymore and this is a one time thing only. I'm just gonna sit next to you instead. My ass hurts… _**DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING."**_ Arthur screeched. Apparently it was too loud for the teachers liking as he started heading over to their desk.

_"What seems to be the problem?"_ Rodger said extremely sweetly.

_"Nothing."_ The Englishman seethed through his teeth. ""We were just going to sit on the _floor."_

He shot both of the students a glare and said he'd be watching…

* * *

After a quite while of boring work that nobody wanted to do, Gilbert had decided to put on loud rock music and scream/sing along to the lyrics. He even got onto his desk and danced around like he was in a concert and almost squashed some students while trying to crowd surf. Let's just say he now has a detention, a lump on his head and several bruises. At least it entertained people for a while anyway.

"Um, excuse me Arthur?" A girl asked, tapping the Englishman on the shoulder. "I-I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies with me this weekend? It would really mean a lot to me if you could come…"

"Of course I will." He answered giving her a small smile.

"A-Ah thank you!" She exclaimed, running back to her previous seat and squealing to her girly friends.

"You do realize you were just asked on a date? By Kiku's sister?"

"Yes Frog, I'm not that blind. That's my girlfriend if you haven't noticed. We've been dating for about a month now I think." He sighed and rolled onto his stomach.

Francis felt a wave of jealousy pass through him. He sighed too and began to play with Arthur's hair. He was shot a look but was never pushed away. "Mon petit lapin, are you happy with your relationship?"

"I- Don't know honestly… Don't get me wrong she's a nice girl but- I think I like someone else and I feel she could have someone better than me."

"Mon cher has another love interest? Who could it be…?"

"Like hell I'm telling you! I'll just go work with her instead then. I've had to endure you for way too long today anyway." And with that, he pencil rolled away. He succeeded in tripping over the teacher with this action.

_**"UWAAAH~"**_ Mr Rodgers cried as he fell to the floor. His long lashes glistened as he struggled to get back off the ground. He was a real trooper-

"Mr Rodgers is on his man period~" Sang Elizaveta and Gilbert after deciding to co-operate after their previous disagreements. Matthew just proceeded to fade into the background a little more.

"I really hate this class~" Mr Rodgers bawled, taking his high heels off and high-tailing it out of the classroom. You could hear him shouting 'my makeup is ruined!-' from all the way down the corridor.

**_"OH MY GOD, FINALLY. ARTHUR YOU'RE A SAINT!"_** Or something like that, could be heard from all around the class.

Unfortunately, a few minutes later, Mr Rodgers returned with fresh makeup on. _**"I'M REALLY GETTING SICK OF YOUR SHIT. I ALMOST GAVE UP BUT THEN I THOUGHT- I'M NOT GOING TO LET THESE CHILDREN RUIN ME. I AM A WOMAN OF A FREE COUNTRY AND I WON'T STAND FOR THIS!"**_

"Excuse me sir, I thought you were a man." Antonio interrupted.

_**"YOU WILL NOW ADDRESS ME AS MRS! I AM A WOMAN I SWEAR-"**_

"You can't be a _Mrs_ unless you are married. I don't think you could ever be married since you're so confused about your gender." Lovino added in amusement.

"You little shit-"

"And when the fuck did you start wearing makeup, high heels and a dress? I'm sure you were a man like 10 minutes ago. Suit and all." Arthur laughed.

_**"IUFHUIRGUIERGHBVJUFNBJN DETENTION FOR EVERYONE."**_

"Really? You're using _that_ card? Well look at all the fucks I give. That's right. Zero fucks were given this day. I'm out." Arthur really wasn't up for any of this shit. He left with his dignity and sanity intact… As well as the whole class that trailed after him.

* * *

Looks like it's an early lunch.

Francis was searching for Arthur. He rounded a corner of the gym to find him… Kissing his girlfriend. That _is_ what you do with a girlfriend right? He had every right.

He quickly retreated back around the corner and sat by the entrance of the gym. The jealousy was eating at every bit of him. It had never been like that. Ever.

It's true that Francis had grown up with Arthur and as much as they _'hated' _each other, they were always there for each other no matter what. Why did he have to realize this crap on the day that a psychopathic transvestite takes over the school?

Before Francis knew it, Arthur was standing before him looking down at him. They just stared at each other for a while. Then, Arthur was in his lap again. Just staring into his eyes. "..." "..." "What are you doing?"

"I have no idea." Arthur replied and pressed his lips to Francis's lightly. "You asked who my_ 'love interest'_ was, right? Now you know who it is. "

"But what about-"

"Sakura? That was a goodbye kiss. She actually wanted to go to the movies to say goodbye since she's moving back to Japan..._** DON'T THINK TOO MUCH INTO IT."**_

"Fine. As long as I get a piece of that ass."

"No promises."

* * *

**I have no idea what I just wrote. It just got... Strange. Omfg.**


End file.
